


Wingless

by celestialskiff



Category: Loveless
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-04
Updated: 2010-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-13 12:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/137397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialskiff/pseuds/celestialskiff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contains various BDSM kinks. A series of reflections on the relationship of Soubi and Seimei.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wingless

**Author's Note:**

> The fic has been created using the format from the LJ community 1sentence and their epsilon table themes, and each of their 50 prompts makes one sentence.

**Motion**

Soubi can be absolutely still when Seimei tells him to be, but sometimes all he wants is to flex a finger or spread his toes: anything that involves some movement.

 **Cool**

Seimei tells him, “You look cool,” but Soubi knows mockery when he hears it, and he's not at all surprised when Seimei tells him to throw out all his old t-shirts and buy ones in the colours Seimei likes.

 **Young**

The ears and tail should proclaim Seimei's youth, but there's nothing youthful about Seimei: there's his coldness and his precision and his certainty that what he does is right, and if the ears show anything it's simply how different Seimei is from all those around him who lost theirs so easily.

 **Last**

“Don't you dare come,” Seimei says, “I'll cut it off if you come,” and Soubi bites his lips and balls his hands into fists, but Seimie's tickling his thighs with the knife and even the air on his cock feels like too much friction, and he just can't last.

 **Wrong**

Wrong and right aren't really concepts Soubi understands: there are Seimei's orders, and Seimei's orders are absolute, and that's the only thing Soubi needs.

 **Gentle**

Seimei never touches Soubi with his hands (he says Soubi is much too filthy for that), but once he ran a soft wool scarf over Soubi's throat, and that was the most tender anyone had ever been with Soubi.

 **One**

Soubi's legs and thoughts and skin and breaths don't belong to him, but they do belong to just one person, and that person is Seimei, and Soubi is glad his master has taken the responsibility of owning them from him.

 **Thousand**

There is only one thing Soubi truly knows, which is that he is owned, but Soubi knows Seimei's thoughts stray far from his ownership of Soubi, to many different places and things, and Soubi is lucky (lucky and beloved), when Seimei can be bothered to make him stand outside in the cold for two hours waiting for him while he speaks to a thousand other more important people.

 **King**

Soubi knows without being told that Seimei is not his king; he knows implicitly and immediately that Seimei is something far greater than that: Seimei is Soubi's god.

 **Learn**

Soubi's a fast learner: he learns how Seimei liked him to stand and what colours Seimei likes him to wear and what Seimei means by the quickest, most obtuse order, but of course he still gets it wrong, and sometimes the punishment for that is dreadful, but sometimes it is exquisite, and when Soubi realises he has got something wrong there are a few terrifying moments before Seimei decides which it's going to be.

 **Blur**

“Don't make a sound,” Seimei says, and Soubi holds his breath until words and colours and voices become a meaningless blur all around him and all he knows is the stroke of the whip travelling down his spine.

 **Wait**

Seimei orders, “Just hold it,”, and Soubi knows better than to ask again, even though two hours later he's pretty sure Seimei has forgotten and he thinks the contents of his bladder is just going to start trickling down his legs very soon whether he has permission or not.

 **Change**

Seimei settles down to sleep in Soubi's bed after Soubi changes his sheets and, as Soubi lies down on the floor in the moonlight and wraps himself in his coat, he can hear Seimei's even breathing and thinks that he never wants this to end.

 **Command**

Soubi's never known much comfort, and following Soubi's commands, whether it's laying the table just right, or hunting down another fighter unit, is the only thing that makes him feel soothed.

 **Hold**

Soubi doesn't recall a time when Seimei has touched him, and even when he's tying him up or hurting him he's always scrupulously careful that just the knife or the rope touch Soubi and never his hands, but Soubi doesn't miss being touched, because it's much better to be caressed by Soubi's orders than by warm flesh.

 **Need**

Seimei doesn't need anything from Soubi: Soubi knows that he may even find another, better fighter; but Seimei depends on Soubi's orders for everything, and he would be scared by how much he needs Seimei if Seimei hadn't ordered him not to be frightened of that.

 **Vision**

“You don't have much imagination, do you?” Seimei says, and Soubi doesn't reply but paints another butterfly, its wingspan too wide to fit on the canvas.

 **Attention**

Seimei doesn't always tell Soubi what mistake he has made, but when Soubi limps home and looks at himself in the mirror he invariably realises there is something wrong, like he's worn the wrong colour or forgotten to wrap the bandage around his neck properly, and when he realises Soubi smiles and admires Seimei's attention to detail.

 **Soul**

He's been missing his ears for a long time now, and he hates butterflies because they remind of the room where he lost them, and that he did not loose them to Seimei.

 **Picture**

He paints Seimei once, and when Seimei sees it he picks up a tub of alizarin crimson, careful not to get any on his fingers, and pours it over the canvas before leaving the room without saying a word; Soubi panics and three days later he gets an email which simply says, “Don't ever do that again.”

 **Fool**

“Are you tired?” Seimei asks, and Soubi's not sure what the correct answer to that question is, but he says he is, because you can't fool Seimei, and this time Seimei just smiles and tells him to go to sleep, and Soubi flops back on the bed listening to Seimei moving around the room as he dozes off.

 **Mad**

After a battle Soubi is crouched in long grass gently staunching a wound on Seimei's wrist, and as Seimei blinks up at him, Soubi says, “We won, we won,” and he is overwhelmed by a feeling, though he couldn't tell you if that feeling is madness or adoration.

 **Child**

If being a child means playing games and being allowed to make mistakes, then Soubi's never been a child, but if it means desperately trying to be good and waiting to be punished, then he's never stopped.

 **Now**

The room is lit only by grainy winter light and Soubi smokes cigarette after cigarette in the dimness, thinking that this moment is empty because in it he has the space and the time to make his own decisions.

 **Shadow**

To be whipped is a rare and exquisite punishment, but when Seimei whips Soubi he feels the shadow of other lashes on his back, and he hates that, because he wants to be only Seimei's, always.

 **Goodbye**

“I'm going now,” Seimei says, “Don't stand up yet: be a good dog and crawl after me to the door.”

 **Hide**

Seimei isn't very interested in Soubi's past, so he doesn't ask a lot of questions, but Soubi wishes he did, because he doesn't want to hide anything, even the most humiliating detail, from Seimei: he wants Seimei to own everything.

 **Fortune**

When Seimei's away, Soubi still tries to follow all the orders, but there's no one to punish him if he gets it wrong, and that's terrifying, so he's filled with a sense of his own good fortune when Seimei open his apartment door two hours early and tells him to strip.

 **Safe**

The rule is, “Don't say anything unless I tell you to,” and Soubi holds his tongue between his teeth, safe, so he can't speak.

 **Ghost**

Sometimes Soubi gets the ghost of a pain where his ears used to be: he told Seimei once, and Seimie said, “That's good: it will remind you that you're damaged,” and so Soubi makes sure to think about that every time it hurts.

 **Book**

Soubi's never seen this particular book on Seimei's shelves before, and when he picks it up without thinking he tenses, waiting for the stinging slap across his knuckles, and when it doesn't come he tries not to show his disappointment.

 **Eye**

He does what he's told, and so Soubi's reaction is automatic when Seimei tells him to aim for, and burst, the opposing sacrifice's eyeballs.

 **Never**

Never, Soubi thinks as Seimei tells him what to do if he dies, never, Soubi thinks, never, never, never, never, never, never, never.

 **Sing**

They've been out all night, and as Soubi follows Seimei home, sweaty and sore, he can hear the muffled song of birds in the distance as they begin to wake up.

 **Sudden**

The covers are warm and he's almost on the point of sleep when Seimei throws the icy water over him, and it's so sudden that he's just opening his eyes properly when he hears the door slam shut and realises he's been left on his own.

 **Stop**

 _Stop_ , like _right_ and _wrong_ , is a word that doesn't exist for Soubi: for him there is only ever a _yes_.

 **Time**

And he always wants more and more from Seimei, another order, another hour in his presence, until Seimei snaps, “I've got far better things than to spend time with you,” and Soubi resigns himself to another three days alone.

 **Wash**

For Seimei, he keeps the floor clean and sweeps underneath the fridge and bleaches all the towels and bedsheets and scrubs underneath his nails, because without him he's pretty sure he wouldn't even shower.

 **Torn**

Soubi sits on the floor in the empty room look at the torn newspapers and bowl of food Seimei has left out for him: he's determined to be a good dog.

 **History**

Soubi's history is written on his body: in the scars on his back and on his arms and thighs, and most especially in the scars Soubi has carved around his neck, a latticework of ownership across his most delicate skin.

 **Power**

Other people say he's a big and powerful fighter, and as Soubi crawls at Seimei's feet, his coat muddy and torn and his jeans soaking in the dampness from the ground, he thinks they're definitely right.

 **Bother**

A long time ago, Soubi learnt not to ask questions, and so he simply sits in the train carriage beside Seimei, watching city turn into countryside, and evening turn into night, and wonders where they're going.

 **God**

“That's easy,” Soubi says frankly to the loud man on the street corner whose his hands are full of pamphlets, “I only have one god, and his name is Seimei, and I belong to him completely,” and he walks away, satisfied with his answer.

 **Wall**

Soubi stands naked in his favourite position, his hands pressed against the smooth wall in front of him, his eyes on the plasterwork, his back and arse exposed, ready.

 **Naked**

He's never seen Seimei naked: the most he's seen is the inside of Seimei's wrist when it was cut during a spell battle, and sometimes he (guiltily) wonders what the inside of Seimei's thighs might look like or what colour his nipples are.

 **Drive**

Soubi learns how to drive on Seimei's orders, but he quickly discovers that he enjoys it: the speed and the feeling of the car eating up the road beneath him, the knowledge that he could go faster, and faster, and faster.

 **Harm**

Sometimes, unpredictably, Seimei can be kind: he can buy Soubi a meal, or let him sleep on the floor in his bedroom, or buy him expensive paintbrushes, and Soubi finds it hard to respond when this happens, because he finds being punished much more comforting.

 **Precious**

They walk together, often, at night, under a sky too smoggy for stars, and Soubi breathes in foul tasting air and listens to Seimei's footsteps ahead of him, their sound as beautiful as the call of birds or stones skipping on water.

 **Hunger**

He often lives of lollipops for weeks and forgets to drink, but that's not why Soubi is hungry: he's only hungry for the sight of Seimei and for the sound of his voice.

 **Believe**

Soubi doesn't believe in any god other than Seimei, and he doesn't believe any longer that Seimei is coming back to him, but he still has Seimei's orders to follow, and sometimes that is enough.


End file.
